the hardest part is yet to come

Sometimes, without warning, perspective shows up and gives you a sound slap on the face.
One of the things that excited me about making the jump from Academia to Industry was a fattened paycheck. A couple weeks ago, after receiving my first official bimonthly direct deposit, I realized that my net income after taxes is almost exactly what I would be making were I still a graduate student. In fact, it's *less* than what some of my classmates earn from special grants. I'm living alone now and no longer in subsidized student housing so my rent has increased substantially, plus I ran into some unexpected medical bills while inbetween insurances, tuition for the French class I took this semester was WAY more than anticipated, and I needed four new tires for my car. Well, all that got me kind of down. Where was the extra income that I was going to use to replenish my dwindling savings, throw lavish dinner parties, and buy many, many pairs of shoes? Clearly some budget reevaluation was in order and I decided that I can still buy myself stuff, I just need to be a bit more mindful than I expected, particularly with the Holidays approaching. And then I found myself at Target this afternoon, waiting in the checkout line with three pairs of knit tights that I surely do not *need* (though I did go with the cheaper target tights over the wonderful Anne Kleins....). A woman with two young boys moved through the checkout just in front of me. One asked if he could have a candy bar, but rather than the expected "No, you'll ruin your dinner" or whathaveyou answer, the mother replied, "We don't even have enough money for everything in the cart." I glanced over and noticed that she had set aside a pile of things that would not be bought today- a bottle of mouthwash, bar soap, a box of disposable plastic straws, a spray bottle of kitchen cleaner, etc. She pulled out a worn ziplock bag filled with small bills and change and carefully counted out the exact amount she owed. Meanwhile, there I stood with my superfluous tights, thinking about the little red patent belt I'd bought at gap earlier (but it was on sale for $10!) and the black bomber jacket I casually charged at H&M (it was such a good deal at only $45!) and starting to feel pretty silly and selfish about my financial concerns. Thanks perspective, I needed that.

Time to start looking for volunteer opportunities.